Miriam’s harrowing story…

Miriam’s harrowing story of survival from abuse and the Nova festival – thanks to WIZO

Miriam* (*name changed for safety) suffered physical and sexual abuse as a child and later found herself in an abusive marriage. Her time in a WIZO women’s shelter changed her life, dealing with her trauma, helping her to obtain custody of her child and putting her on a path to become an architect and care for her child independently. Years later, a victim of the October 7^th Nova massacre, WIZO has come back into her life, helping her to recover and rebuild.  She sees WIZO as “angels from G-d”.  Read below, Miriam’s harrowing tale of resilience and triumph.

My name is Miriam. I’m 34 years old and I was born in Israel. My parents immigrated from Ethiopia in 1984, and I grew up in Ashdod as an only child.

I had a tough childhood. The sexual abuse by my uncles started at age 4 along with severe physical abuse at the hands of my mother and grandmother. At the age of 13, I started to fight back. I would run away from home for days.

I drank alcohol and used drugs daily with friends: marijuana, ecstasy, glue. At 14, after my mum filed several police reports about my disappearances, welfare services intervened and took me to a treatment facility.

Later, I moved to a boarding school where I obtained my high school diploma, but I never spoke about or dealt with my traumas.

After high school, I joined the army and met my ex-husband. We had a very abusive relationship—physically, sexually, mentally, and financially. He controlled the money, and I didn’t work much because of him. The violence started early on; he was obsessive and jealous, and when he drank alcohol, he became abusive. But he was also very loving and protective – or so I thought then.

Despite everything, I loved him, married him, and we had a child, believing things would get better and he would learn to trust me. We were together for nine years, married for six. In 2015, after a violent incident, I reached out to my former teacher, who came to pick me up and gave me shelter at my former boarding school. They gave me a place to stay with my one-year-old, and I met with a social worker who suggested a women’s shelter. That was the first time it occurred to me that I might be an abused woman.

But I refused to believe it and after three weeks, my ex convinced me to come back by renting our own apartment and claiming the problem was lack of privacy. We had lived with my parents except for that brief period, and even then, there was violence. Three years later in 2018, after many attempts to divorce and separate, there was a severely violent incident, and I saw that my child was growing up and understanding what was happening.

I contacted my teacher again and said I was ready to do whatever it took to save us. She referred me to the welfare services in Ashdod, where they determined I was at high risk and needed immediate relocation. They sent a taxi to take me and my child to the WIZO shelter in another city.

They welcomed me with such love and provided everything we needed. I am so grateful to them. I was assigned an amazing social worker, who has been with me ever since. For the first time, I opened up about my childhood. I started drawing, and they saw my talent and sent me to study drawing at the Israel Museum. Then they signed me up for a career guidance course where I went through a process to test my abilities; they suggested that I study architecture.

I learned who I am, my capabilities, the heights I can reach, and to love myself despite everything I’ve been through. I learned that if someone hurts you, it can’t be out of love, and my life changed completely. With my social worker’s help, I attained a place to study architecture and interior design at Shenkar College of Design Engineering and Art in Tel Aviv. It seemed completely insane that I would study at Shenkar. You can’t understand how crazy it seemed to me.

I left the shelter after a year and a month and moved to a transitional apartment, also part of WIZO’s programme. I stayed there for a few months, but with the difficulty of studying and raising a child, I needed my parents’ help. My parents moved from Ashdod to Netivot because they knew I couldn’t return to Ashdod and needed to distance myself from my ex.

My parents rented me an apartment, helped me, and the shelter provided supplies and furniture. I also had a WIZO mentor who visited me weekly. I grew stronger and more independent, and I started working with at-risk youth.

Then came the Nova festival. I went with two friends to enjoy a night of dancing and ended up injured, with my two friends dead next to me, but that’s a long and painful story. I survived by a miracle, thanks to G-d. After that day, the amazing social worker from the WIZO shelter contacted me and came every week to provide trauma treatment voluntarily.

Now, ten months later, I am dealing with my ex-husband again. Right after October 7^th, he hired a lawyer and sued me for custody, claiming I was mentally unstable due to what I went through at Nova. We went to court, and they determined I am mentally healthy. Then he accused me of neglecting our child.

The court appointed a social worker to evaluate my parenting capabilities. They visited my home many times and saw that my child is well cared for. He’s an amazing child, pleasant and sociable and excels in school.

My ex-husband still has not let go and continues to harass me. My struggle with him is ongoing.

I reconnected to WIZO through my advocacy work, sharing my story from October 7^th, fighting for the return of the hostages and for safety for my son and all of us in Israel. I’ve travelled on several delegations, which my ex-husband used to claim meant I was abandoning my child. The social worker called to ask who would care for my child while I was away. I explained that this was a short trip, and my parents were caring for him. My son’s safety is always my top priority.

WIZO has come to my rescue again: providing me with a lawyer, which has lifted a significant burden off my shoulders, fearing they might take my child away. As if dealing with the death of my friends in front of my eyes wasn’t enough.

I have no words to express my gratitude. I see WIZO as angels sent by G-d to protect me. Thanks to WIZO, I am who I am today. They didn’t just save me but also my child. I became a better parent thanks to the shelter. Thank you so much.

My dream is to establish hostels across the country to rescue at risk youth from the streets. I believe I can achieve this with my efforts and hope to give back as WIZO has given to me. I appreciate all WIZO has done and will for the rest of my life.